Today was Eva's first day of school. It was an exciting day that I knew was coming. It wasn't as hard as last year when she was just all of a sudden gone all day, 5 days a week. Cora starts school on Friday. It is a very sad thought. She is so much fun to have at home. Today she left with a friend for a little bit and the house just felt empty, even with twins crawling around. I had to run outside and give her a kiss before she left. She is such an amazing blessing. My thoughts are so heavy tonight as I think about the months ahead. I am speaking in stake conference this weekend about temple blessings and eternal families. I cannot help but think about adoption and what a beautiful blessing it has been to our family. I also realized today that if I wouldn't have miscarried in February that we would have an 11-month old baby...but that wasn't what the Lord had in store for our family. Now we have two darling 11-month old babies. I am CONSTANTLY thinking about Jacqueline, Sara, and Renee. I also think about Chris, Walt, Marylyn, Katherine, Stan and Kimberly. These are names of people that are very special to me. Names that I pray about often and hope that each is feeling loved and blessed. My heart aches a lot for them yet I find courage in their commitment to provide a home with a mom and dad where the Gospel of Jesus Christ is taught. It gives me courage and strength to be the best I know how to be. I know that placement is hard and the months ahead can be filled with anguish. I came across an old email from Jacqueline tonight. It was at a time when we were moving and weren't sure about how open we wanted to continue to be. It was a sad email and I wish that I had never caused that kind of emotion. I am sorry Jax. I LOVE you! I had been having a lot of nightmares and I was trying to find some peace. It was a time of growth and realization that you are a link to our family that we can NEVER be without. So, enough rambling. It is late, lots of things on my mind and I wanted to write them down so I could get some sleep! I LOVE YOU! ps pics from the fair, party for the twins, and boating